Text Message History:
12:01 PM - Me: Zoe fell down the stairs and landed on her face. She's ok but she's going to have quite the bruise.
A few moments later, a concerned Michael, who is out hunting for a few hours, calls to see what happened. We were going to go outside and kick the ball around since the weather was so nice, and while I ran downstairs to get the ball, Zoe decided it would be clever to climb down the stairs in her big coat and floppy rainboots while carrying a large basket, which is never a good idea. Since she is missing the instinct that tells every other normal person to throw their arms up to protect her face, she landed right on her nose, as usual. I tell him she will probably get a little black eye and has a bloody nose but seems generally unhurt.
12:25 PM - Me: Ummmm ok now Jed definitely does have a black eye. This has been a busy morning for us.
Michael arrives home not long after. I hem and haw a bit but the real story is that we were running around the house playing tag and things got a little wild and Jed ran right into my knuckle. OK, we were both running, but there was NO flinging of fists going on, he really did run right into my hand! And then there was a popping sound and he fell down. And now he has a blood blister and a black eye. Whoops. Mom of the year award.
Here is the photo evidence. See, it isn't that bad. I will admit it looks worse in person. Jed was doing all right until he saw himself in the mirror and then he collapsed into a wailing heap, screaming "I LOOK TERRIBLE!!! I CAN NEVER LET SOPHIA SEE ME LIKE THIS!" That's right, his first concern was what his little girlfriend would think.
See how happy and well adjusted they look? These are photos of happy, content, abuse-free children.
Even with, er, two black eyes, they're cute as buttons.
Black spotted buttons.