I bought Zoe a new tube of training toothpaste the other day. We made a big deal of it and she was SO excited! We got the kind of tube that you decorate with stickers (which is the dumbest idea ever since they get sticky and gross in like 2 days, but whatever.) She spent all afternoon decorating it with about five hundred stickers with Jed helping her. (And by helping I mean "doing it for her." But for some reason she doesn't mind...) Anyway that evening I went to brush her teeth with her brand new toothpaste (oh boy!) and when I went to squeeze the tube, nothing came out. Did I have the old tube? No. Was something wrong? No. Well, yes. "Zoe, what happened to your new toothpaste? It's all gone!" She looked up at me with innocent eyes. "Mom, I ate it!" She ate the whole tube and I caught her the next day trying to milk more out of it, little wretch. Guess who gets to use mom's spicy toothpaste now?
As we were driving down the highway one evening, we saw the most awesome tow truck ever. It was huge, hauling a tanker, and covered with glowing and pulsing lights of every imaginable variety. "Jed, look at what is ahead of us!" We pulled up closer. Jed started going on and on about how cool it was and look at the lights and look at that color and look how big it is etc. etc. I know Jed well enough to know that when he gets excited about something like this his voice gets higher and higher. So as we were driving past it, every time I responded to his excitement I would pitch my voice just slightly higher than his. Then he would respond even higher. And higher! And higher! Michael and I were giggling uncontrollably. By the time we got off the freeway and waved goodbye to the truck, the kid was squeaking astronomically high up into the soprano atmosphere. "Bye truck!"!" Hilarious!
Here is Jed putting himself and Zoe down for a nap so I could have "some quiet time for yourself, Mom. Then you can do the things you want to do, you know like do the dishes and clean the house and all those things so you will have fun, right Mom?" Um, right.
About 6:30 AM the other day Zoe started shrieking wildly in her bedroom. I stuck my head in and she was thrashing about in her bed screaming "I NEED UNDERPANTS!" again and again. I could see she was still asleep but she was waking up the other kids. I went up to her bedside. "Zoe, do you need some fresh underpants? You have some on right here!" I tugged at her undies. She looked up at me blearily, little tears in her eyes, looked at the underpants and thought for a moment. "I need 'tar underpants!" she wailed. "OK how about I throw some star undies in the laundry for you and I'll wash them up for today. She sobbed softly and laid down. "All right, Mom. 'Tar underpants." "Love you Zoe." "Tanks Mom." And she was back asleep.
A prayer for breakfast: "And Heavenly Father please bless Mom that she won't have so many boogers in her head. Amen."