The scene opens to a cheerful breakfast tableau. The Stanfill family eats a traditional pancake breakfast. Michael is dressed and ready for the day at work. Vanessa feeds pancakes to Jed, who stuffs them whole into his mouth, chunks falling from his oozing, whip cream coated orifice. They chat about the coming weekend.
Vanessa: So... does anything seem weird about these pancakes?
Michael halts in mid bite, looks suspicious
Michael: Whenever you say that, I feel nervous. I guess they are a little hard...
Vanessa: Oh that's just because I left them on the griddle too long when Jed woke up.
Michael: Chews gingerly, then pauses. What's in them.
Vanessa: (Innocently) Why?
Michael: You have to tell me now. Did you put that weird keershawhatever in it?
Vanessa: (Grins) Well, they started off normal and things just got a little out of hand.
Michael: What is in them!
Vanessa: Ummm... Well, they ended up being Whole Wheat Sourdough Kefir Flax Seed Agave Nectar Pancakes. (She starts to giggle.)
Michael. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
Vanessa: Sings in a Little Mermaid falsetto "How many microbes can one pancake hold?"
Michael: Why must you do this?
Vanessa: It's Witch's Brew! A little bit of this, a little bit of that, then I looked down and realized that I had no idea what my concoction would taste like.
Michael stares at his breakfast. He takes another thoughtful bite.
Michael: Actually, they taste great. Just a little hard.
Vanessa: Well, good. (pause) Think how healthy your intestinal flora will be today.
Michael: Thanks for that.
Addendum by Michael:
Just to be clear, this is an almost daily dialogue between my wife and I. I'm hardly surprised anymore. If there was an elephant tail sticking out of the blender, I might wonder a bit... about where she got the elephant. Even then, it would probably taste pretty good.
I've got such a great husband.
Patience
8 years ago
5 comments:
Holy Moly...you are the master of taking what would seem to be a nasty mix and making it totally delish. I would have loved to have tried them!
I make pancakes with kefir all the time :) Also whole wheat... if I remember to buy agave nectar I'll try it too... but no flax! My body does NOT LIKE FLAX SEEDS!
Just to be clear, this is an almost daily dialogue between my wife and I. I'm hardly surprised anymore. If there was an elephant tale sticking out of the blender, I might wonder a bit... about where she got the elephant. Even then, it would probably taste pretty good.
I love it. Hey, have you read any Michael Pollan? I thought I was an obnoxious healthy food person before but oh boy oh boy oh boy! It only gets better.
(I like to pop flax seeds and brown rice in a little oil and salt them. Mmm-mmmm!)
Ha ha ha. That was funny. And rather familiar. Like earlier this week we were having Mexican food and I made something green in the blender...smoothies, but my hubby asked if it was guacamole! It was the same green, but not anything else the same. I don't know if he knows now why it was green or if he just opted not to ask!!!
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