Monday, January 18, 2010

Sunday Morning

Saturday night, about, oh, 11:00 PM I realized that I had to attend ward council meeting the next morning. That's right, now that I'm Primary President I run with the BIG DOGS, baby! I'm all in on the ward gossip! And I get to be at church at 7:30 AM!!! What makes it even more fun? Michael travels the stake on assignment many Sundays for his calling as Young Men's Presidency, so he wasn't going to be in our ward the next day.

Thus, at 6 the next morning I hauled my bleary-eyed self out of bed and cursed that late-night haircut, no matter how good my man looked for his talk. Bless Jed's heart, he popped out of bed cheery despite the late night and early morning. Dad wrestled clothes on him while I whirled about gathering my now-necessary several bags of supplies.

Diapers and wipes for everyone? Check.
Beast-killing Primary Binder? Check.
Transportable breakfast since we didn't have time? Check.
Snacks? Check.
Jed's "fun bag" for church? Check.
Toys for Zoe? Check.
Everyone wearing shoes? Check.
Backup outfit for Miss PoopyPants? Check.
Nursing Cover? Check.
Blessed Ergo Carrier? Check.
Papers for counselors and chorister? Check.
Conducting outline? Check.

Finally all clothed and prepared for five happy hours of church, we set off with barely time to spare. Fortunately, that morning our friends' kids were going to be there and they could help keep an eye on Jed. I staggered into the church, Jed and diaper bag on one side, Zoe on back, World's-Largest-Binder and Fun bag on the other side. We dropped Jed off with Breakfast Bags and waterbottle, and then whisked into Ward Council.

All was going well. My suggestion that we sing "Should You Be Inclined to Censure" as opening song I thought very amusing. Everyone smiled at my cheery baby, commenting they'd never had a baby Ward Council before. That made me slightly nervous. Then it all went south when, as I continuously shoved objects away from Zoe's flailing Go-Go-Gadget-Arms, she managed to grab a pencil and stab herself in the face right in the midst of the missionary's report. The subsequent screams, wails, thrashings, attempted wild nursings, etc. managed to put a damper on the distracted Elder's report. (I kept reminding myself "If he had gone on a mission to the Amazon he would have seen LOTS of breasts!") Finally Zoe settled enough to bounce on my knee, produce five or six man-sized belches, and smile up beatifically at everyone as if the ten minutes of tiny terror had never even happened.

Everything else went well except me horrifying the bishop with a set of wildly inappropriate ideas for Primary (there were at least four "Maybe you can bring that to my office and we can talk about it later"s) But I had at least one good suggestion...

So I'm counting the morning a success.


Tasha and Doug said...

How funny! I'm sure it made ward council much more exciting. Doug saw lots of breasts on his mission in Romania. I imagine US elders are the most sheltered in that area. If you ever want me to come and watch them let me know.

Tessie said...

Yep, you win, hands down. Best Sunday ever!

Jodi said...

It will get easier. When I served as the YW pres my husband was EQ pres so we took both the kids, we got looks, but we fullfilled our callings!

Jennifer said...

Wow! You are super-woman. I totally would have cried.

TheTamFam said...

"attempted wild nursings," bah! I know how those go. My little guy hates the udder cover/hooter hider/modesty protecter, so I've been tempted many a time to just toss said screen aside and nurse in public, full flash mode. You are my excuse to now go ahead and do it. Plus also, the only missionaries we have in our ward are sisters. =)

NessaAnn said...

Well, we do plenty of full flash mode around here, so that made the experience more hilarious than traumatizing. Really, what's a little flashing breast among friends. Those Elders need some eye opening. Let's call it the anti-porn.

I will say, I was REALLY tired by the time Primary rolled around.

Jodi, YOU deserve the superhero status for having both YW Pres AND EQ Pres OH MY GOSH how did you do it! You must not have seen your husband for a year!